Learning to Accept our Emotions

Life is filled with emotional highs and lows, and navigating these fluctuations is essential for well-being. It is useful to develop a personal and powerful framework for managing moods and emotions by focusing on accepting your experiences, connecting with your values, and committing to meaningful action.

Here are some top tips

Accept, Don’t Resist

I love the idea of accepting emotions rather than fighting them. Often, when we experience difficult feelings—like sadness, anger, or anxiety—our instinct is to avoid or suppress them. However, this resistance can create more distress. Instead, instead it is more helpful to acknowledge your emotions as natural parts of being human.

When a challenging emotion arises, pause and observe it without judgment but with curiosity. You might say to yourself, “I notice I’m feeling anxious right now.” By accepting the emotion, you allow it to flow through you, rather than letting it control your actions or overwhelm you.

Create Distance from Your Thoughts

You are not your thoughts and working on so called  cognitive defusion, a practice that helps you separate yourself from unhelpful thoughts, will help you to recognise this. For instance, instead of thinking, “I’m a failure,” you might reframe it as, “I’m having the thought that I’m a failure.” This subtle shift creates space between you and the thought, making it easier to see it as just that—a thought, not an absolute truth.

Engaging in exercises like repeating a thought in a silly voice or imagining it written on a cloud can help you defuse its emotional impact. This practice allows you to focus on what truly matters instead of being swept away by unhelpful mental chatter.

Be Present with Your Experience

Learning to be more mindful is incredibly useful when riding and in other areas of your life. . By grounding yourself in the present moment, you can reduce the intensity of emotional challenges and focus on what’s in front of you. Simple practices like noticing your breath, observing the sensations in your body, or paying attention to your surroundings can bring you back to the here and now.

Rather than getting stuck in regrets about the past or worries about the future, mindfulness encourages you to fully engage with your current experience—even if it’s uncomfortable.

Clarify Your Values

What are your values? Why do you do the things you choose to do and what would you wish to achieve from your goals? When faced with emotional difficulties, connecting to your values can guide your actions and provide meaning. Ask yourself, “What is truly important to me?” Your values might include kindness, social connection, love of horses, success and having fun.

By focusing on these values, you can take meaningful actions even in the face of emotional discomfort. For example, if success is important to you (i.e. success = fulfilment of goals) then you may be prepared to put up with the discomfort of stretching out of your comfort zone more often than remaining inside it.

Committed Action: Move Forward Despite Discomfort

Learn to take action that aligns with your values, even when it feels challenging. This might mean showing up for training despite self-doubt or committing to putting in extra hours on horse back even when you might prefer to spend an evening in front of of the TV.

By practicing committed action, you build resilience and foster a sense of purpose, regardless of the emotional weather you’re experiencing.

Self-Compassion and Patience

Remember to show yourself self-compassion as you navigate your emotional landscape. It’s normal to struggle, and every step toward acceptance and value-driven action is a step forward. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories, such as noticing your thoughts or acting in line with your values despite discomfort.

By applying the above ideas you will grow in self belief and resilience. Remember, emotions are a part of the human experience, but they don’t have to dictate your actions. Instead you can embrace life’s complexities while staying true to what matters most.